Sometimes I just want to give in...stop caring...stop trying. If I write, it is nothing. If I draw, it is nothing. If I sculpt, it is nothing. Getting my degree produced nothing save an enormous bill! No matter what I do it seems that I have nothing to offer in this world and certainly not in the cultural battle in which our country is engaged. For me even social networking to get the word out produces no effect. None of the information I put on my fb page is even commented on. Is it me I wonder or are most of the people I am affiliated with just disinterested. I know that most of them are not only Christian but active Christians...and yet, nothing!
I confess my frustration at the lack of interest in the Manhattan Declaration. 'isn't this,' I wonder 'the bottom line for Christians?' You know what I mean...isn't taking a stand like the one proposed in that declaration the very same spiritual movement that led thousands of Christians to go singing to their deaths at the hands of the Roman emperors? Yes it is! But now days we Christians are a soft bunch! We thinking that our faith should produce a blessed easy life. Funny, Jesus never said that. He said pick up your cross and follow me. It used to mean not just falling in love with a suffering God, but sharing in the suffering. Now most Christians believe that they don't have to suffer, that Christ did all their suffering for them. We don't understand the love Jesus was speaking about. He spoke of AGAPE (Greek - selfless love ä-gäp, äg-p)He spoke of sacrificial love!
Oh Lord, fill my heart with real agape, then it won't matter to me if I work myself silly and produce nothing, it will only matter that I tried for love of You and my neighbor.
All I can really do is pray. But Lord....do my prayers matter?
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